


Oddities

by princesitka



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bad Parenting, F/M, M/M, Male Nanny, Max Ackerman, Oddity Shop, single parent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:38:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1800721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesitka/pseuds/princesitka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is a single father working at his friend's oddity shop to meet end's meet. With the mother of his child unwilling to help care for him, Levi has to hire a nanny to watch his son while he works. Who would have known that a guy would willingly watch his kid for him?<br/>Clearly, Levi's life can't be normal outside his work place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know what I'm doing with my life.

The soft down of my fuzzy blanket caressed my face as I snuggled in closer to the familiar warmth of sleep. Liquid sunlight blanketed my lower half, laying against my skin and making me feel like I'd be fine with just laying here the rest of my life, dreaming peacefully and steadying my eyes against the new morning sun. It was a perfect morning, really, one that you learn to cherish-

"Daddy! Daddy, up!" 

The shrill voice jolted me from my peaceful existance as I felt my bed bow with a 'creak' at the foot. 

And then I was being smushed under a warm mass of giggles and grabbing hands. 

I groaned, pealing said mass off of me. "Max, it's-" I checked the glowing digital alarm clock next to me on the bedside table. "-seven in the morning."

Max just laughed again and tried to jump on me with his little legs. "Up! Up!"

I shouldn't have been surprised to find a toddler crawling on me so early in the morning, ever since Max had climbed the little tree down at the park, he'd been obsessed with trying to climb things. Thus, he'd figured out how to climb out of his crib, which I had been meaning to switch out with an actual bed as soon as I saved enough money for one of the good ones. 

Max watched me as I got ready for work, bouncing on my bed the whole time even though I'd warned him not to. 'Oh well', I'd told him, 'it's not my fault if you fall off and crack your head open.'

I picked my phone off the charger and went to contacts, scrolling to the P's and tapping the first name.

"Hello?"

"Petra, it's Levi. You think you could watch Max today for me?"

A sigh on the other end, prolonged and clearly irritated. "I told you, Levi. Today Auruo's taking me to breakfast at that cute little diner on 1st." 

I scratched the back of my head, closing my eyes. "Come on, please? He's your son too, you know. I'm not asking you to take him for the week, only a few hours." 

"I can't take him to breakfast with me!"

"Why not? He loves pancakes."

"Yeah, but Auruo doesn't like kids."

"So what? Screw him. Max is your son. Besides, he misses his Mommy." The word 'mommy' made me cringe as it came out of my mouth. 

From behind me I heard the murmurings of 'mommy' turn into excited squeals of the same word, and suddenly Max was at my feet, jumping up and down and asking for his mother.

"Mommy! Mommy, please!" 

"Here, Pet, he wants to talk to you-"

"Levi, no. I have to take a shower." 

"For God's sakes woman, talk to your son for a minute. It's not going to kill you." 

I heard another sigh as I pressed the speaker phone button and lowered the phone down to Max's level, which he excitedly tried to grab even though it was out of his reach.

"Mommy, hi Mommy!" He giggled, still jumping up and down.

"Hi, baby." Petra crooned through the phone, the sweetness in her voice very and painfully obviously fake. "Are you being good for Daddy?" 

"Yeah! Love you!" 

"Love you too. Now tell Daddy to take me off speaker."

I rolled my eyes as Max yelled at me to take Petra off of speaker, crossing his little arms and scrunching his pale brows together. For a boy who barely saw his own mother, he sure was a Mommy's boy.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." I told him, pressing the button to take Petra off speaker and bringing the phone back to my ear. 

Petra sighed her stupid little annoyed sigh again, and I could tell she was focusing on something else, like trying to put an earring in with one hand. "Look, Levi, just call a nanny or babysitter or something. I told you I can't watch him today." 

"You know I don't have the money for that." 

"Well you know what, maybe you should have thought of that before you stuck your-"

"I don't need this right now," I snapped, cutting her off. "especially not right infront of Max." 

Max turned his head from where he had returned to jumping around on my bed and grinned his little mischevious toddler grin.

"Just pay for it now and I'll chip in and pay half." She said tightly, clearly also not wanting to start that argument again right before her date. 

"Fine." I told her simply, opening up my laptop on the oak desk next to my small closet. "Thanks." 

"Yeah, bye." 

I ended the call without even wishing her luck on her date, placing my phone down beside my laptop and taking a seat in the beat up office chair. Max climbed down from my bed, making his way over to me and begging for me to pick him up. I lifted him onto my lap and hugged him with one arm as I opened up Google and went to the first website that popped up after I typed in 'finding a nanny'.

The website was easy enough to use, just type in where you lived and what your preferences were, and a long list of capable woman would pop up along with their contact information. I pulled a pen from the mug next to my laptop and wrote down the first woman's number on my pad of orange Post It notes. 

Max was looking at the glowing screen with interest, pointing at the picture of the woman who's number I had just written down.

"Do you like her, buddy?" I asked, tickling his side. "Says her name's Eren. She looks pretty, doesn't she? How would you like her to watch you?" 

Max giggled hysterically at the fact that he was being tickled and squirmed in my lap, shouting cries of Eren's name and the word 'yes' into the empty space of my bedroom.  
___________

Even though it had been last minute, Eren had assured me that it was fine and that she would be over within the hour. She sounded genuinely friendly on the phone, but between you and me, she honestly kind of sounded the tiniest bit masculine. Not that that was a problem, but still. The woman had the voice of an adolescent boy. 

Max became impossibly more excited at the prospect of meeting someone new, and expressed that excitement by running through the house and pretending he was Captain America, with whom he had an almost unhealthy obsession with. 

I was close to just packing Max up and taking him to work with me when the doorbell rang, and the screech of my two year old son filled the house. Luckily for Eren, I made it to the door before he did, although when I opened it, I wasn't exactly sure that this WAS Eren. 

"Um...hello?"

"Hi," Eren waved, and now I knew why HE sounded like an adolescent boy. "I'm Eren Jaeger, your new nanny." 

He was an adolescent boy.

Eren's long, brown hair had been down in his picture on the website, giving off the illusion that he was actually a woman. But now, Eren had his hair pulled back into a messy, low ponytail, exposing the obviously male shape of his face. 

"Uh, yeah. Listen." I started, scratching the back of my head. "I kind of was expecting a-" 

I was cut off as a blur of toddler rushed between my legs and pounced onto Eren's.

"Eren! Eren!" Max screeched, nuzzling Eren's blue jeans like they were a new puppy he'd just been given.

Eren chuckled, setting his large bag down, prying Max off his long legs and hoisting him into his arms. "Nice to meet you too, Max." 

Max immediately wrapped his arms around Eren's tanned neck made a squealing noise, clearly not caring that Eren wasn't what he'd been told he'd be. I sighed, and let a tired smile slip onto my lips.

Eren looked back at me, pretty oceanic eyes blinking a few times. "I'm sorry, Mr. Ackerman, you were going to say something?" 

"Yeah. Nice to meet you Eren, thanks for agreeing to watch Max on such short notice. Please come in." 

____________

After I had informed Eren on everything from Max's favorite foods to where to find the cleaner incase somebody made a mess, I gave Max a kiss and departed for work. 

My house was only fifteen minutes away from my work place by car, since we lived outside the heart of the city in the quiet suburbs. I had originally lived in an apartment on the not so well off side of town before Max was born, working and saving to go to school since I hadn't been able too when I was freshly graduated from high school. But after Petra had told me she was pregnant, I spent that money on a house, packed up, and never looked back. 

I work at an oddity's shop owned by my friend Hanji, an eccentric loonatic who didn't mind splitting the profits halfway with me even though she runs the place. She named the shop, 'The Recon Corpse' for reasons unknown to me, though I'll admit it has drawn in an interesting crowd over the years. 

I parked down the street from the shop and hopped out of my car, adjusting my snuggly fitting button down and black jeans. The door to the shop was open today in what I guessed was either Hanji's attempt to attract more customers or a futile attempt to cool off the shop's interior. 

As soon as I stepped foot inside the tiny, cramped shop, I heard a shriek reminiscent to my toddler's as Hanji shot up from behind the counter and held out an old book for me to look at, of which she was carefully holding with a few cloths. 

"Look at this, Levi! A lady brought this in last night after you left! She said it was bound in human skin, can you believe it?! Real human skin!" 

I made a face and leaned down to better examine the old book. True, the binding looked to be more pourous than leather, but there was no way of telling that it was actually human skin. 

"Hanji, you don't know if this is actually human or not. Besides, who would want to buy it if it was? That's disgusting."

"Do you KNOW how much skin books go for now-a-days?! Like, thousands upon thousands of dollars! And if I was a customer, I would totally buy it! It's really awesome!" 

"Whatever you say, Hanj." I grunted before making my way behind the counter to join her. "Did we get anything else new in?" 

"Yeah!" Hanji exclaimed, placing the skin book carefully down on the counter before retrieving a large wooden box. 

Inside were three glass jars, each having a deformed kitten encased within it. 

"That's actually pretty cool." I told her, picking up one of the jars and looking at the cyclops kitten inside. "I think someone will actually wanna buy these." 

The work day went by slowly, business picking up on highs and lows. We sold a few things, the human skin book surprisingly enough being among them, though Hanji mourned it's loss in silence. We made idle conversation between customers and busied ourselves with card games.

"So," Hanji asked after she had tucked the cards away again as a customer browsed the store. "Who's watching my favorite little man today? And no, I don't mean you." 

"Ha ha." I scowled, snorting through my nose and rolling up my sleeves. "I got a nanny to watch him since Petra's a shit mother." 

"You got him a nanny?" Hanji asked incredulously before erupting into hysterical laughter that almost caused her to fall off her stool and our current customer to have a heart attack. 

"Yeah, I did. Petra agreed to pay for half the fees to pay him."

"Oh my god- oh my- HIM?!" This time Hanji did fall off her stool, flailing on the black and white tile like a fish out of water. 

"Oh my god, Hanji, what the hell's so funny? Take a breath for God's sakes." 

Hanji inhaled deeply, only to snort unattractively and wipe her eyes. "Okay- okay. I just never thought you of all people would get a nanny, a he-nanny at that!" 

"Oh shut up." I gritted out, watching through narrowed eyes as she hauled herself back onto the stool.

"What's his name? Is it Justin? I bet it's Justin!"

"What? No. Why would his name be Justin? You know what, nevermind. It's Eren." 

"Ooooh." She cooed, almost like a pigeon. "He sounds cute."

I rolled my eyes. "I thought he was a woman at first when I hired him. I was going to tell him his services weren't needed anymore when he showed up, but Max loved him, so I'm giving him a chance." 

"How's his butt? I bet he has a nice butt." 

"You're terrible." 

___________

I made it home slightly before I said I would, mainly so I could surprise Eren and maybe catch him in the act of doing something I wouldn't approve of. 

What I was met with frustrated me and melted my heart at the same time.

Eren and Max were curled up in a nest of blankets and pillows on the couch, the TV playing Barney re-runs although no one was watching them. 

Max cradled our only photo album in his hands, flipping through the pages and telling Eren who each person in the pictures was. 

"Mommy, Daddy, Uncle Hanji, Aunty Erwin-"

I snorted at how even after I had tried to convince Max that Hanji was his 'Aunty' and Erwin was his 'Uncle', the fact that every time he said the latter made Hanji hysterical stuck, so he continued to call them as such. 

"I'm home." I called extra loud, slamming the door behind me closed with the toe of my boot. 

Eren looked back at me over the top of the couch with a confused expression in his eyes while Max thrusted the photo album into his lap and rocketed himself off the top of the couch towards me.

"Daddy!" He squealed, jumping up so I caught him in my arms. 

"Hey, buddy. How was your time with Eren?"

"Good!" Max giggled, waving an arm at Eren as he made his way over to the both of us.

The confusion on Eren's face was gone, replaced with a genuine grin that made his eyes sparkle.

"Welcome home, Mr. Ackerman. Max was just showing me your family album."

I nodded towards the chaotic nest of blankets and pillows on the couch and raised an eyebrow. "I assume you were going to clean that up before I got home."

Eren blushed a light crimson and swept some of his long bangs out of his face, tucking them behind his ear. "Of course. You're just back a little earlier than you said you'd be." 

"Alright then, you two. Clean it up and I'll make some tea." 

Max cheered at the prospect of tea, always saying he felt like a grown up when he drank it, and jumped down from my arms, running to start putting the pillows back in place.

Eren's blush remained as he openly stared at me, his mouth working to form words. 

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Yes. You can stay for tea too."

That brought the grin back to Eren's face as he turned on his heel and started folding blankets with as much enthusiasm as Max.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puke, very shirtless men, chicken noodle soup, crying toddlers, way too long hair, sarcastic jazz hands, and one and a half hella gay men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you my homies.

Eren

Working for Levi was...well, interesting, as I came to find out in my first week of watching Max. 

He liked to show up back at the house unexpectedly and had more rules about cleanliness then I thought were possible. I mean, keep your feet off the coffee table I can understand, but keep your feet off the rug as much as possible? I honestly thought rugs were there for you to walk on.

But still, no manner of weird rules or surprise visits could prepare me for what I encountered as I showed up for work that fateful Tuesday morning.

I let myself in with the spare key Levi had given me after knocking a few times without getting an answer, only to be greeted by Max excitedly yelling my name from the couch, where he was watching his favorite Barney DVD.

"Where's Daddy, buddy?" I asked, closing the door and setting my bag down on the table. Levi was usually up ready to leave for work by the time I showed up.

"Puke." Max said excitedly, like it was best word he'd ever said. 

A door down the hall squeaked open and a very disheveled, very shirtless man staggered out, holding a hand to his forehead. 

"Daddy!" Max exclaimed, making grasping motions with his hands, and I outwardly gasped as the very, very shirtless man made his way forward and picked up the blonde little boy from the couch.

"Oh, hi Eren." The shirtless man that was apparently my most recent employer rasped, cradling his son to his pale chest. 

"Hi Le- Mr. Ackerman." I replied, raking my eyes over the gray sweats that hung low on his hips and the unruly tufts of silky black hair that stuck up at the back of his head.

"I told you to just call me Levi." 

"Uh- It's a habit, sorry. Why're you- uh..."

Levi breathed out a raspy sigh and set Max back down on the worn couch, plopping down beside him. "I'm sick. I should have called and told you I'd be home today, I'm sorry." 

"Oh no, it's okay." I told him, standing there behind the couch a bit awkwardly. "If you want, I can stay and help you out. You know, watch Max if you wanna take a nap or aren't feeling well and stuff. Oh oh, and I can make you some of my famous chicken noodle soup!" 

As a culinary major at the local community college, I was always looking for opprotunities to cook for people. Mainly to show off how good I was at it, but you know, cooking for shirtless men was just as gratifying.

Levi ran a hand through his dark, messy hair, closing his gray eyes for a moment. "That sounds really nice, Eren, but I can't afford to have you here while I am. It's just...wasting money." 

I'll admit, that stung. Even though I'd only been watching Max for a week, I'd grown more attached to both him and Levi more than I'd like to admit. 

"Well... Look, today is free. You don't have to pay me."

"No... I wouldn't feel right about it."

"You're sick, you don't feel right already."

Levi narrowed his eyes at me from his spot on the couch as his son curled into his side, completely immersed in the world of Barney for the time being. 

"Alright, fine. But you better make me that soup."

_________

Levi

No matter how delicous Eren's soup was, I still felt bad for letting him stay and help me out without paying him. I'll admit that I'm quite the asshole, but I do experience guilt. And I felt it deep and twisting in the pit of my stomach as I emerged from my bedroom after having taken a nap and found Eren trying to comfort a wailing toddler. 

"Levi- Oh god, I'm sorry we woke you up." Eren said, throwing a pitiful glance over his shoulder and then raking his gaze up and down my torso. Thank god I'd remembered to put a shirt on before I'd taken a nap.

I waved a hand at him and nudged him away from Max with my foot. "Nah, you didn't wake me up. I woke up on my own." I bent down to Max's level and stared evenly at his blotchy, snot drenched face.

"What's that matter, buddy?"

Max took a gasping breath and wrapped his tiny arms around my neck, pushing his wet face into my blue cotton shirt. 

I turned my gaze to Eren after wrapping comforting arms around my son, raising a questioning brow at the way he was nervously biting his lip. 

"Max somehow got it into his head that you were...D-E-A-D." Eren shifted his eyes to the key rack by the door, brushing his long bangs out of his face. 

"Why'd you think that, Maxy?" I asked, returning my gaze to the sobbing mess of blonde hair tucked into my shirt and running my fingers through his soft blonde curls. "I'm fine. Just alittle sick, is all."

At that point, Max started crying harder and screaming at the top of his lungs for his mother, which made me outwardly wince.

I felt another pair of arms and suddenly, Eren was there, his long, tan arms encircling both me and Max, and then he pulled away, taking my son with him. 

He stood up, letting Max scream and hit him and try to pull his long hair out. Then he started rocking side to side, hand rubbing small circles on Max's back as he turned his own back to me, a rough melody scraping it's way out of his throat. 

I stood there gaping as my son, very slowly, calmed down in Eren's arms, his thumb finding his mouth and his tired blue eyes closing. 

"How did you do that?" I whispered, coming to stand beside the two, and definitely feeling a twinge of jealously that Eren was able to do that and I couldn't.

Eren just looked at me, cracking that breathtaking grin with tired eyes. "He was crying for his mommy, so I figured my hair was long enough to fit the bill."

__________

After Eren had put Max down for a nap, I'd made us both cinnamon tea. Eren sat across from me on the couch, stirring his hot drink with a slender finger and eyeing me through his way too long bangs. 

"You just gonna sit there staring at me, or are you gonna make conversation?" I asked, crossing my legs and appreciating the way Eren's face heated up.

"How are you feeling?"

"Alot better." I replied, taking a sip of tea and letting a tiny moan slip out at the lovely taste. 

"Holy crap." I heard Eren mutter, before he busied his mouth with drinking a large swig of tea.

"It was all thanks to your soup, I bet. Definitely the best I've had in awhile." 

"Ah, thank-you." Eren said, the skin under his eyes crinkling as his grin returned. But then he turned serious, mouth furrowing into a thin line. "Can I ask where Max's mom is, or is that too personal?"

I sighed and sat my mug on the coffee table, running a hand through my hair and lounging back. "No, I'll tell you. Petra and I had only been dating for a couple weeks when she found out she was pregnant. We were reckless back then, thought we were invincable. But when she told me she was pregnant, I dropped everything and bought this house. About three months after Max was born, she told me she couldn't take it and left. Now she's out there dating guys left and right and not giving a shit about her son. Our son. It really pisses me off."

Eren nodded understandingly, pushing some stray hairs behind his ear. "That really sucks. You're such a good dad though, Levi, you really are." 

"Thanks." I said, watching as the same strands of hair fell back into Eren's face. The urge to brush them away was alarmingly overwhelming.

"So," Eren pushed out, the blush from before returning to his face. "Have you dated anybody since Petra?"

"No. God no. I can't even bring myself to find women attractive anymore. My friends have tried to get me laid several times, but that's just...gone horribly wrong." I shuddered, scratching the back of my neck.

"How so?" Eren asked, his confidence returning as a mischevious glint sparkled in his eyes. 

"I couldn't get it up." I blurted out bitterly. "Like I said, women aren't attractive to me anymore. Physically and emotionally." Why was I explaining this to my goddamn nanny again?

"Maybe you're gay." Eren stated matter-o-factly, taking another sip of his tea. 

"Maybe YOU'RE gay." I retorted, narrowing my eyes at the long haired boy in front of me.

"I AM gay." 

I stared at Eren.

And he stared back.

I continued to stare at him.

He started to smirk at me.

"Would you like a congratulatory cake or maybe a party? Congrats, you're hella gay!" I said, shaking my sarcastic jazz hands on either side of my face. 

"Yes, I would like a cake, thank-you." 

"Are you dense? My jazz hands were sarcastic." 

"You also used the word 'hella'."

"I'm going to fire you." 

"You love me."

I stared at Eren.

And he stared back.

I continued to stare.

He winked at me through his bangs.

I smacked him in the head with a pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One woman shows, human teeth, baby swirlin', babies in general, an important life lesson about when and when NOT to maim your friends, an unwelcomed guest who may or may not be here for awhile, Levi's damn couch, and a special someone who will definitely be here to stay. For the time being, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my golly, almost 100 kudos this early in the game? Bless all of you. 
> 
> Also, I'm sorry if you enjoy Petra as a character. I never really did.

The following day, against the pleas of my own son, Eren, and Hanji, who had apparently realized her dream of doing her one woman show outside the store without the scrutinty of my gaze while I was sick, I returned back to work. 

Even though Hanji was just a bit somber at my sudden reappearance, she regained her vigor as she showed me the latest addition to the store, a sculpture made out of human hair from the Victorian Era. 

Hanji always seemed to get the most excited when things that were brought into the shop were made out of parts of humans. She religiously wore her favorite human tooth ring and necklace set and always seemed to have her glass eye plugs stretched in her ear lobes. I didn't question her fixation on things from human bodies, I had long since stopped questioning the things Hanji did, but the tiniest part of me still wanted to judge her for it.

"You're a sick, sick woman." I bit out, a clearly disgusted scowl on my face as she swirled around a deformed human baby in a jar.

"Don't knock baby swirlin' til you've tried it!" She cackled, placing the baby's jar back on the shelf where it belonged.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. 

"So how's the baby?"

"What, you mean the one you just stopped traumatizing? Probably a little worse for wear, you psycho."

Hanji let out a deep chuckle, sounding almost radio show host robust. 

"No, silly, I mean the OTHER baby."

"Max? Max is fine. A little sad I had to come to work today, but he's good."

"No," Hanji purred, walking her fingers slowly towards me on the speckled countertop. "I mean the OTHER, other baby."

I groaned, pushing her hand back away from me. "For the last time, he's twenty-one and my nanny, Hanji. He's a legal adult." 

"He's just a baby watching another baby!" She exclaimed, grinning like a chesire and framing her face with her boney hands. 

Ever since I'd told Hanji Eren was twenty-one, which had been only two days ago, she'd reminded me seven times of that fact. Two of which occasions had been phone calls at four in the morning. I loved her dearly, but sometimes I really wanted to smother her with her own pillow while she slept.

"So, did he play nurse for you while you were sickie-poos? Did he dress up in a special little nurse's outfit and feed you? Did he take your temperature via your-"

I silently thanked God when a customer came to the counter to ask for the price on a vintage freak show sign. 

There is a time and a place for slowly maiming your friends, and your place of work was not one of those, damn it. 

I made my way home from the shop on time, having stayed a bit later to help Hanji reorganize the book shelves. 

I half expected Eren and Max to be curled up on the couch again, a position I'd found them in more than once when I'd arrived home from work in the past week.

What I didn't expect was a woman with strawberry blonde hair pinned primly back into a messy bun sitting on my damn couch with my son residing in her lap. 

"Oh, Levi, you're home." She said, turning her head to look at me as her painted lips curved upward in a fake smile. "I just thought I'd stop by and see Max."

I heard Max call a greeting from her lap as he absentmindedly busied himself with touching her face. 

But wait a second.

Where the hell was Eren?

"Where is he?" I asked, standing there and glaring at her with sharp gray eyes that demanded IMMEDIATE answers and a tone that spoke volumes about how I definitely wasn't messing around.

Petra's face scrunched up as I uttered out the word, 'he'. Like it was dirty. Or something Max shouldn't hear.

"That's exactly the problem. He was a guy, Levi, a young man to be exact. Watching our son. Doesn't that seem a little wrong to you?" 

Everything about what she said infuriated me, right down to the "our son" crap. Petra hadn't given two shits about Max for the past year and half of his life, and now suddenly she was all ready to make some big reappearance in it? 

I don't think so, Miss Foundation Too Dark for Your Skin.

"Eren was great with Max. He even showed up for work when I was home sick to help me, said it wouldn't cost me anything." I bit out, trying my best to stay calm for the blonde little boy trying desperately to regain his mother's attention by reaching to grab the stray damaged hairs at her temple.

Petra only huffs, pushing Max's hand away with an annoyed shove. "I'm helping pay for someone to watch him, I should be able to have some say in who does it."

My eye twitches as I feel the familiar bubble of rage in my lower abdomen. And then something snaps.

Wait, no.

Something clicks.

Petra only comes back here when something doesn't go her way.

"What the hell happened this time?" I hiss out through gritted teeth, watching as she hugs Max to her inappropriate amounts of cleavage. 

"Auruo dumped me and threw me out!" She says, brown eyes twinkling with salty tears. "He called me a whore. Can you believe that?"

'Yes, Petra, I can believe it.' I say silently to myself. 'Because your sob story is exactly the same every time you try and worm your way back into our lives before abruptly leaving with one exception; the guy is always different.'

"So, I can stay here, right?" She asks, sniffling and wiping her tears away with one manicured hand. "I have nowhere else to go."

I narrow my eyes at her, at the way Max is just eating up her false attention. 

"Fine. But we're keeping Eren. No objections." 

__________

I call Eren after making the couch up for Petra, and also telling her that, no, she could not use my closet to store her clothes. 

He picks up on the third ring.

"Hello?" And he sounds pretty uneasy to be answering on the other end of this house's number. Whatever Petra said to him must have been pretty harsh.

"Eren? It's Levi. Look, I'm sorry about whatever Petra told you. I really want you to come back to watch Max." 

A pause. Bated breath. Like he was waiting for me to continue.

"Uh... I don't really know, Levi. She told me you guys didn't need me anymore..."

He sounded genuinely hurt, like Petra had squashed his favorite pet mouse under her cruel, booted foot. 

Had I mentioned Eren and I stayed up last night to watch 'The Green Mile' on TV after putting Max to bed?

"Petra says alot of crap. But right now we really need you. She's staying here and mooching off me for God knows how long, and I don't trust her with Max."

How terrible, that I didn't even trust the mother of my child with her own son. Hell, I didn't even trust her with the TV remote. No telling what she would do to it.

Eren makes a 'tsk' sound on the other end, probably thinking the same thing I was. "Alright, I'll be over normal time tomorrow."

Cold relief washes through me. "Yeah, alright. See you tomorrow, you brat."

"See you, old man."

"Watch it. You just got your job back."

He laughs. It's hesitant and strained, but atleast it carries an inkling of the normal Eren. 

"Yeah, yeah. Bye." 

__________

The night goes by as uneventfully as ever as when Petra decides to show up for an unwanted visit. She claims the couch and the remote, which I unwillingly let her touch, and decides it's a good time to let me know that she's currently a vegetarian and on a gluten free diet. Great.

The next morning I wake up to find her sprawled out unattractively over my beat up couch, and I feel the sudden urge to push her off of it. That's my couch you're drooling all over, damn it. Mine.

Eren does show up on his usual time, and sets to making me my morning cup of tea while I wake my actually still sleeping toddler and his snoring mother. Since when did my nanny become my dependable butler?

Petra wakes up after Max is in his booster seat and rubs the drool from her chin, chocolate brown eyes scanning the kitchen as she takes in Eren's back at the stove.

"Oh Levi!" She almost purrs as she saunters forward into the kitchen, fixing the location of her 'Pink' pajama pants on her legs.

"What?" I grunt out as I pull a mug from the cupboard for my tea.

She curls into my side, definitely making a show of rubbing my chest with the pad of her pointer finger. "You know, I've been thinking. Maybe we should give this whole family thing another chance?"

I stiffen, and I notice Eren tense as well from where he's turning the stove off. 

"You know, I've never noticed how good you look in plaid."

I shove her away as gently as I can with a disgusted look on my face, replacing my porcelain 'Life is Good' mug with a crappy plastic travel one. Eren takes the hint and thankfully pours my tea in there instead, leaving me to put the sugar and creamer in myself. 

"Have a fantastic day." I grit out, nodding at Eren and giving Max a kiss before blatantly ignoring Petra and pushing my way out of the house. 

Family is something I'd been wishing for for most of my life. A dream that simply hadn't come to light until I'd had Max.

And Petra was not a part of that dream.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's hope Eren doesn't spit in the spaghetti, are men with long hair attractive or, tattoos and human flesh, do you wanna build a snowman, public pools, dogs with bladder problems, the age old question involving goths and cats, and Eren Jaeger's pirate flag beach towel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, the feedback for this is unbelievable. I never thought anyone would actually read this. Many thanks.   
> Here are some things:  
> You should know that right now, the unofficial theme song for this fanfiction is Birds and Boats by Gregory and the Hawk. This will probably change in the future.
> 
> You should also know that the writing style changed a bit this chapter, and I'm sorry. I don't know if I like this writing style, and to be honest I don't even know if I like this chapter. 
> 
> Another thing you should PROBABLY know is that your comments and kudos are very much appreciated, even though I don't always take the time to reply back to the comments, I asure you I do read them and let out not very flattering giggles when I find out there are new ones. 
> 
> One last thing you should know is that the relationship between Eren and Levi will be a very slow building one. They will flirt and canoodle and do a bevy of other things before they find out their feelies. These notes are very long.
> 
> Thank-you for reading!

"Levi!" I hear the shrill voice from the living room call and groan, slumping back against the kitchen counters. 

Eren rolls his eyes from where he's stirring homemade angel hair noodles, not at my exasperated form, but at cause of it. 

Petra had only been staying at my house for two days now, and it had certainly been two days too long. I was just about spent cleaning up after her and making nice between her and Eren, which they could never seem to do on their own.

At one point, Petra had taken all of Eren's things and put them outside on the front lawn. On another, she'd made various comments throughout the entriety of the day about how men with longer hair were unattractive. I was surprised Eren hadn't snapped under her blatant awfulness yet. Apparently he really loved his job.

But that aside, I was currently poised in the kitchen for three reasons. One, to make sure Eren didn't spit in or poison Petra's food. Two, to avoid said person mentioned in the previous reason. And three, really just to spend some time with Eren, who always seemed to brighten up my day just a bit more.

I pushed away from counter tops which had been my refuge a moment ago and made my way into the living room where Petra stood, examining the various shelves I had around the room.

"When are you gonna get rid of all this weird stuff?" She asks, picking up a vile with some guy's tattoo floating around inside it. "It's really creepy."

"When I'm dead and in the ground." I snap, taking the vile back from her and placing it back where it belonged. I was sure that if she had found out that it was human skin inside, she probably would have ended up dropping it. 

"See, that's your problem Levi. You're too dark and creepy." Petra replys, giving me a once over with an analyzing gaze. 

I narrow my eyes at her, crossing my arms over my chest. "Oh, really? So why don't you tell me how I can be more normal and not dark and creepy. I wanna be just like you, Pet." 

Apparently if Petra could detect the sarcasm dripping from my tone, she chose to ignore it. "Well," She starts, walking a little circle around where I stood. "you could start by dropping the whole goth thing. I mean, you've been doing that for like, how long? Since high school? And you're like, in your late twenties now, so yeah, drop the goth thing. And take your piercings out, and get rid of all this weird crap."

I raise an eyebrow at her, now fully aware of the piercing that adorned it. I didn't consider myself a goth anymore, but I did prefer to dress darker than most people. Not that how I dressed or how many piercings I had (which was six counting the ones in my ears) mattered to my employer. In fact, my employer encouraged it.

"I'll get right on that Petra. Right after I purchase a mini van and become scout master with the local boy scout troop." 

"Dinner's ready!" Eren calls from the kitchen, and I silently praised whatever deitys presided over our world. 

Petra only regards me with a snarky look and turned on her heel towards to direction of the kitchen, leaving me to get Max from where he was watching 'Frozen' on the couch.

I pick up the remote and pause the movie, earning several cries of 'Elsa!' from Max. 

"You can watch it with Eren and me after dinner." I tell him as I scoop him up from his hiding place under our old blue blanket. Petra was going out with some of her friends tonight, so I planned on taking advantage of that. 

I sat Max down in his booster seat as Eren sat a bowl of spaghetti down in front of him, adding a little, 'bon appetite' that made Max giggle.

"Hey Max?" Eren asks as he serves himself a plate of pasta. Max looks up from his meal, blue eyes blinking slowly. Eren leans down in front of him and knocks on the table. 

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

"Yeah!" Max gasps, a surprised expression gracing his small face. 

"It doesn't have to be a snowman!"

"Snowman!" Max sings out, trying to mimic Eren, his tiny hands waving around.

Eren laughs and goes back to his pasta, grinning when Max tries to sing on his own. 

"We can sing together after dinner, alright Buddy?"

I could see Petra frowning and poking at her food from across the table, looking between Eren and Max dejectedly. 

"You know, Max," I start, gaining my son's attention. "Daddy has a day off next week. So why don't we go to the pool?" 

This has Max more excited than prospect of singing with Eren had. Max loved the water, and insisted nearly every day that he wanted to go out in the backyard and splash around in the tiny plastic pool I kept back there. Of course, I had to clean and replace the water every time, but it was really no problem. Besides, now that Eren was watching Max for most of the day, that duty was passed onto him. 

"Eren, Eren!" Max says firmly, pointing at said man where he sat next to him.

"Of course Eren's welcome to come with us." I counter, giving a small half-smile.

Eren laughs his charming laugh and we all continue to eat the lovely meal he'd prepared for us. Even Petra in her bitter mood couldn't deny how good the food was.   
_________

Everyone has those friends that they love dearly, but can only take so much of. It's like you have this really friendly and easily excited dog that always wants to be around you, but you have to keep that dog crated in the basement because they have terrible bladder problems and piss everywhere when stuff gets way too exciting. I mean, you love that dog, but you really don't want them to piss all over your new rug, do you? No, no you don't, so you put that dog in the damn dog crate where they belong, away from you on weekends and your days off.

Okay, I think you or anyone else could probably guess who I'm refering to.

That's why I was less than pleased when my very own piss filled dog texted Monday night to tell me she'd be joining me the next day at the community pool. 

Besides the fact that I could only take so much of Hanji throughout the week, there were a number of other reasons I personally dreaded meeting up with her at the pool, the first one being that Eren was going to be there. Not that I was worried that Hanji would scare him off, since Eren had already be succepted to other types of hazing into our small family, I was more worried that Hanji would end up drowning him. 

Things to Know About Hanji:  
1\. Hanji + Water DOES NOT MIX

I'm just going to put it out there that Hanji pissed in the community pool once, and that was when she was twenty-three. So no, the dog with bladder problems metaphor was not being brutally mean. 

Another reason why I was not looking forward to spending the day at the pool with Hanji was because she'd been pulling the same joke on me for years whenever we were near a large body of water. 

It goes like this:

Hanji: Hey, how are goths like cats?  
Whoever has the misfortune of standing by Hanji: I don't know, how?

Hanji then proceeds to pick me up and throw me into the water, laughing and proudly telling whoever the hell has fallen into her trap that, "They both hate the water!"

The joke really isn't funny, both for myself and the person who is on the receiving end of it. But apparently to Hanji, and anyone else in the immediate area who knows who I am, it's hilarious and has to be a thing that happens whenever I'm near a large body of water. 

Of course it goes without saying that I usually retaliate with something five times more horrible and merciless than just the stupid act of throwing Hanji into the pool, but regardless, she keeps on doing it year after year. 

That's why I expect it, but I don't expect when she does the stupid joke instead of greeting us and introducing herself to Eren.

Actually, Eren is the one on the receiving end of the joke. And he finds it particularly funny. 

So funny, in fact, that he's laughing so hard he's teetering backwards towards the pool.

That's when I make my move, grabbing his ankles and sending him flying backwards into the chlorine filtered water, pirate flag beach towel and all. 

"Ah man!" Hanji cackles from the side of the pool, only avoiding my watery rath for the fact that she's currently holding Max. "He didn't even DO anything, Levi!"

"Oh yes, yes he did." I rasp out, voice still scratchy from the water I'd accidentally drank as Eren's dark head bobs up out of the water, long bangs hanging in a thin screen over his tanned face. 

"What the hell?!" He yells, swiping his hair out of his eyes. "I was still holding my shit!"

"Ah, but that's when you strike. When the other person thinks you take those kind of things into account and decide you're too nice to carry out the act." 

"Dick." Eren sneers, grabbing his floating towel and scrambing like a wet cat to find purchase on the side of the pool.


End file.
